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Foodie gifts for somebody who knows more about food than I do

Buying food for a person who is serious about food is the one gift where the recipient is the expert and you are guessing. I am not going to pretend my way around that. What is in these is good and plain rather than clever: things to put on a board, a board to put them on, and nothing that needs explaining to somebody who eats out more than I do. I pack every box myself here in Canada and write your message onto the card by hand before the lid goes on.

They know more than I do. So these are good and plain rather than clever. I pack every box by hand here in Canada.

Eight boxes for somebody who eats properly, at $99, $119 and $189, and six of the eight come in two sizes.

Where there is a board in one of these, that is the part they still have next year.

The Gourmet Treats Box, a gift box packed by hand in Canada
An example of the card, written in your words

Lucas. You know more about this than me. Be kind.

Love, Wren

The Gourmet Treats BoxTwo sizes, $119 or $189.From$119Buy now, $119: The Gourmet Treats Box, $119

The boxes I would send somebody who cares what they eat

These are filed under retirements, housewarmings and congratulations in my catalogue. They are here because what is in them would survive being put in front of somebody with opinions.

Showing all 8

Which one, then

The safest ground with a food person is savoury and shared, because it is the hardest to be wrong about and the easiest to put in front of other people. Sweet is riskier and cheaper, and both of those matter. If the amount is the part you are weighing, how much to spend on a gift in Canada is a better read than anything I can put here.

A board and what goes on it

Four boxes from $99 to $189: the Gourmet Send-Off Box, the Charcuterie Congratulations Box, the Gourmet Treats Box and the Premium Welcome Home Box. Three boards, a dish and the things to put on them. The first two are the same idea in wood and in slate, and the third is the only box here that reaches the top of this page.

For picking at rather than sitting down to

Three boxes from $99 to $119: the Sweet & Savory Gourmet Box, the Sweet Win Box and the Sweet Thanks Box. Sweet and salty things and something to keep them in. These are the ones that get opened at four in the afternoon rather than laid out for anybody, and the smallest of them is the cheapest way onto this page.

If the food person is also a coffee person

One box from $99 to $119: the Morning Espresso Box. Ground fine for a machine, with two small glasses. A lot of people who care about food care about coffee in exactly the same way, and this is the only box on this page that acknowledges it.

Two sizes on a box, and where the bigger ones are

The boxes on this page run $99, $119 and $189, and six of the eight come in two sizes. The larger size of a box is everything in the smaller one and about two more things, picked the way the rest of it was picked. On this page the larger size means more to put out rather than a better version of the same thing.

Eight boxes on the site run a ladder of three sizes instead, and the luxury boxes at the top of it are the fullest things I pack. If you came here meaning to spend more than this page asks for, the links under this are the shortest way there.

Admit on the card that they know more than you.

You type the message when you order, up to 280 characters, and I write it out in pen on a real card. With a food person the winning card is the honest one. Saying you did not dare guess is more charming than pretending you did, and it takes the whole thing out of being judged.

If you are stuck, people write things like:

"You know more than me.""Put this out for people.""No notes, please."

If the box is decided and the card is the part you are stuck on, here are a few you can send as they are, or change at checkout.

  • For somebody with opinions"You know more about this than I ever will. Be kind about my choices."
  • For a home cook"Nothing here needs cooking. For once, somebody else did the shopping."
  • To share"Put this out the next time we are over and pretend you bought it."

The card, the tissue, the tape and the rest of what happens to a box before it leaves.

An example of the card, written in your words

You know more about this than I ever will. Be kind about my choices.

Love, Wren

Other things they might be into

Food people are usually one of two other things as well, and both have a page here.

If the pleasure is having people round rather than the eating itself, the page for the friend who always hosts is the closer one, and it shares half its boxes with this.

If they are the one who bakes, there is a shelf about feeding the person who feeds everyone, which is a better card to write.

And if it is really the coffee, the boxes built around the first cup are on their own page and there are more of them than there are here.

Questions people ask me

Is this actually gourmet, or just snacks in a box?

Some of each, and the page says which is which. Three of these have a board and the things to put on it. The rest are good sweet and salty things for picking at, and I have written them as that rather than dressing them up. Each box has its own page, and that page says what is in it, so you can check that it really is what this one claims.

Is there anything fresh or perishable in them?

No. Everything in these boxes is shelf stable, because a box that has to be refrigerated is a box that fails if somebody is out when it arrives. It also means nothing has to be eaten this week, which is the difference between a gift and an obligation.

What if they are a much better cook than me?

Then buy the board rather than the ingredients. A person who cooks well does not want your opinion on olive oil, but nobody has ever had enough boards, dishes or things to put out when six people turn up. That is the ground where being less expert than them stops mattering.

Are there allergens, and can I check?

There are nuts in several of these and wheat in most of the ones with crackers. Each box has its own page listing what is in it, so if there is an allergy involved, read that page before you order rather than relying on this one. All sales are final, so check the address before you order.

What do the sizes cost and how does it ship?

The boxes here run $99, $119 and $189, and six of the eight come in two sizes. The larger size of a box is everything in the smaller one and about two more things, picked the way the rest of it was picked. Shipping is free anywhere in Canada and a box is 1 to 7 days in transit. There is a field at checkout where you pick the delivery date you would prefer.

Buying food for somebody who knows more than you

Every other category lets you be the expert for a moment. You know something they do not, you found something they had not seen, you hand it over. Food reverses it. The person opening the box eats out twice a week, reads about it for fun and has a considered position on the thing you just bought them, and you can see them arranging their face while they decide what to say.

The way out is not to try harder. It is to buy the part of it that is not a judgement call. Nobody has a controversial opinion about a wooden board, and nobody has ever complained about having too many things to put out when people turn up unannounced. Good crackers and something to spread is a gift that cannot be wrong, only more or less generous.

Every box here is packed by hand in Canada and comes with a handwritten card. Shipping is free anywhere in Canada and a box is 1 to 7 days in transit. If none of these is right, every box on the site is in one grid sorted by price.

While you are here

If you are not sure which box to send somebody who cares what they eat, tell me who it is for and roughly what you want to spend and I will tell you what I would pack. I read every message myself, at team@swipegifts.com.