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I'm sorry gift boxes, for after the apology has been made

A box does not apologise for you. If you have not said it yet, say it first, in person or on the phone, and send this afterwards. What a box does is make the apology physical: it turns up at their door days afterwards and shows that you were still thinking about it when the conversation was over, which is the part most people fail at.

Say sorry first. A box is the part that comes after. I pack every one by hand here in Canada.

Four boxes for after an apology, $99 and $119, and the rest of what I pack underneath.

Nothing on the outside of the box says what it is, so it is not opened in front of anybody unless they choose to.

The Premium Healing Comfort Box, an apology gift box packed by hand in Canada
An example of the card, written in your words

Sofia. I got it wrong and I know it. I am sorry.

From Nate

The Premium Healing Comfort BoxOne size, about four things.$119Buy now: The Premium Healing Comfort Box, $119

Four boxes for after you have said it

Four boxes, from $99 to $119. Three of the four come in two sizes. The larger size of one is that same box with about two more things in it, picked the way the rest of it was picked. All four are comfort rather than grand gestures, on purpose: an apology gift that is expensive enough to be impressive reads as buying your way out, and everybody can feel the difference.

Not quite it? Every box on the site is in one place, sorted by price and by who it is for. Browse all of them and pick something else to send after the apology.

Other boxes that suit an apology

Each of these is sold here for another reason as well, so nothing on this page renames them.

Why none of these is expensive

These four stop where they stop and that is deliberate. A box at this end of the scale shows effort without looking like a transaction, and an apology that turns up looking expensive is one the other person gets to be insulted by. I am not going to sell anybody a bigger box for this.

Eight boxes on the site run a ladder of three sizes instead: $119 for the smallest, $189 for the middle one and $299 for the fullest box I pack. If you are set on spending more, spend it on the thing they actually lost because of what happened, not on a larger version of this. Nothing on this page is a smaller gift for costing less.

Or start from every box I make, sorted by priceThe whole range, $70 to $299, including the sizes between these and those.

The card is the apology. The box is the envelope

Three rules that work for almost every apology card: name the thing you did, do not explain why you did it, and do not ask for anything in return. Explanations read as arguments and questions read as pressure. You type it at checkout and I write it out by hand.

Stuck on the card? People start with something like:

"I got it wrong.""No reply needed.""I am sorry, properly."

A few you can send as they are, or change at checkout:

  • Short and honest"I got it wrong and I am sorry. No reply needed, I just wanted you to know."
  • When you let somebody down"I said I would be there and I was not. That is on me, and I am sorry it took me this long to say so."
  • When you said something you should not have"What I said was unfair and I have been thinking about it ever since. I am sorry."
  • To a partner"I am sorry. Not for how it came out, for what I did. Take whatever time you need with it."
  • When they have asked for space"I am not asking for anything. I am sorry, and I will be here when you want to talk."
  • When it has been a long time"This is late by about a year. I am sorry for what happened and for how long I took to say it."

There are more lines worth borrowing in my guide to writing a gift card message.

An example of the card, written in your words

I got it wrong and I know exactly how. I am sorry. No reply needed, I just wanted you to have this.

From Nate

How to get this one right

An apology gift is the easiest thing on this site to get wrong, and almost all of the ways to get it wrong are about timing rather than about the box. Work out where you are in the conversation first, then choose.

If you have not actually apologised yet

Close this page and go and say it. A box that arrives before the apology asks the other person to do the work of forgiving you in exchange for a parcel, and they will read it exactly that way. Say it first, plainly, without explaining why you did it. Then send something.

If they have asked for space

Give it, and send something small when you send anything. The Sweet Healing Box at $99 or $119 is the one for this, with a card that asks for nothing back. Something large landing in the middle of somebody asking to be left alone is another thing you have done to them.

If it is a friend you let down

Two boxes from $99 to $119: the Cozy Comfort Box and the Peace & Apology Box. Missing the thing you said you would be at, or being unreachable in the week they needed you, is the ordinary kind of letting somebody down and it does not need a grand gesture. Comfort and a specific card do more.

If it is a big one and you have been putting it off

The Premium Healing Comfort Box at $119 is the fullest I pack for this, but the box is not the part that matters here. Write the card first, before you choose anything, and if you cannot write it honestly then the gift is early.

If sorry is not quite the word

People land on this shelf for three different situations and only one of them is an apology. The other two have shelves that fit better.

If nothing is your fault and you are just sorry it happened to them, the thinking of you boxes carry no blame in them at all.

If somebody is ill and you could not be there, the get well shelf is matched to the recovery rather than to how bad you feel about missing it.

And if what you owe them is gratitude rather than an apology, which is often the case after somebody has covered for you, the thank you boxes say it straight.

You are not expected to send all of them. It is worth knowing the next one is here when it comes around.

Questions people ask me

Does sending a gift actually help an apology?

It helps afterwards and it hurts before. Said first and meant, an apology stands on its own, and a box that follows it shows the thinking carried on past the conversation. Sent instead of the words, it reads as an attempt to buy the subject closed. The Peace & Apology Box at $99 or $119 is the one I would send, and the card matters more than the contents.

What should I write on an apology card?

Name the thing you did, leave out the explanation, and ask for nothing back. Those three make a card that can be read without the other person having to manage your feelings as well as their own. There are six written out further up this page you can send exactly as they are, and whatever you type at checkout I copy onto the card by hand.

Should I send it now or wait?

Wait until the apology itself has been made, and if they have asked for space, wait longer and send something small. The only case for sending quickly is where you cannot reach them at all and the box carries the first honest thing you have managed to say. Nothing on the outside of it announces what it is, so it does not force a conversation at the door.

Can I send it straight to them?

Yes. Put their address in at checkout and type your message, and I write it onto the card by hand before the box is closed, so the note from you is the only thing in there with words on it.

Do you ship anywhere in Canada?

Yes, free anywhere in the country. Shipping is free anywhere in Canada and takes 1 to 7 days in transit. I can't promise an exact arrival date. You can pick a preferred delivery date at checkout, which tells me when to send it rather than when it will land. There is no rushing this one anyway: a day later than you hoped changes nothing about what the card says.

Can I send a box back?

All sales are final. Every box is food, skin care and other things that can't be sold on once they have left here, and each one is packed by hand to order. If you have a question before you buy, write to me at team@swipegifts.com.

Apology gift boxes, packed by hand in Canada

The reason apology gifts have a bad reputation is that people send them instead of apologising. A parcel that arrives with no conversation behind it is asking the other person to accept an object in place of the sentence they wanted, and everybody can feel that from across a room. Sent the other way round, after the words, it does something a conversation cannot: it turns up days after the room has gone quiet and proves you were still thinking about it when nobody was watching.

There are four of these, from $99 to $119, and all four are comfort rather than spectacle. Three of the four come in two sizes. The larger size of one is that same box with about two more things in it, picked the way the rest of it was picked. Warm drinks, something soft, a candle, the kind of thing somebody can use on their own in a quiet evening, which is usually what the person on the other end of an apology actually wants.

Every box is packed by hand here in Canada and ships free anywhere in the country. There's no price on anything inside the box. You write the card at checkout and I copy it out by hand, and on this shelf the card is the gift: name what you did, do not explain it, and do not ask for anything in return.

While you are here

If you are not sure which one to send, write to me at team@swipegifts.com and tell me who it is for. I read every email myself and I answer them.